My boyfriend has been a rock during all of this. I am still in love with him. But…trust is missing…I don't know if the GD is making me think things…he hasn't proven to be untrustworthy but sometimes the company he keeps leaves less to be desired. I cannot tell him who to be friends with, including past lovers who love to “text or call” when we are together…oh how conveinient. I am sure they are just trying to make me feel insecure but I have enough to deal with, this dreaded disease, my mother's illness, my own issues. I am finally starting to feel stronger. Is this why I now want to make a break for it? I know this is somewhat off the subject but I do need help.

I keep feeling like I want to cry all the time. But I want to be happy. No, there isn't anyone else I'd rather be with, etc. Something inside has just “clicked” and I feel I need to fix it. I know I am being somewhat vague but I need some advice. Life is simply too short.

And now I am having severe chest pains…I know anxiety. I am going to the doctor.

Darcy, just some advice based only on your post so remember I may not see the big picture you do. Right now your brain and emotions may still be being affected by the Graves'. For all we know even after thyroid is normalized the autoantibodies could affect the brain. The upcoming times will be challenging for you even if they go well and now is not the time to throw away support. Unless the relationship is actually harmful to you in some way, it's best to wait till you are truly on the other side of treatment or stabilized on ATD's long-term. Good luck at the doctor I hope your chest pains aren't a sign of trouble.

Antibodies have VERY specific functions. Just as any old key will not open any old lock, antibodies can only interact with the specific protein combinations that they were formed to “attack.” Our antithyroid antibodies affect thyroid tissue, not brain tissue.

Antibodies have VERY specific functions. Just as any old key will not open any old lock, antibodies can only interact with the specific protein combinations that they were formed to “attack.” Our antithyroid antibodies affect thyroid tissue, not brain tissue.

"A literature study of 2006 mentions that ophthalmopathy may also contribute to psychiatric morbidity, it is presumed through the psychosocial consequences of a changed appearance. However, the observation that a substantial proportion of patients have an altered mental state even after successful treatment of hyperthyroidism, has led some researchers to suggest that the automimmune process itself may play a role in the presentation of mental symptoms and psychiatric disorders in Graves’ disease, whether or not ophthalmopathy is present. Persistent stimulation of TSH-Rs may be involved. In Graves’ disease, the TSH-R gives rise to antibodies and in some patients these antibodies persist after restoration of euthyroidism. The cerebral cortex and hippocampus are rich in TSH-Rs. (emphasis mine) Antibody stimulation of these brain receptors may result in increased local production of T3."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Graves%27_disease#Neuropsychological_manifestations [en.wikipedia.org]

thanks Catstuart7. I agree. I think that is why at least my doctor kept telling me not to make any hasty decisions because my thinking may be a bit altered due to what my body is going through. I know I don't feel like my self at all.

I do also agree Bobbi, that the thyroid is attacked by antibodies when we have Graves, but just like with another autoimmune disease (diabetes) which antibodies attack the pancreas, a person is still moody, depressed, etc. because there is a metaphysical and psychological connection between the body and mind. Just my humble opinion. It is that connection, along with treatment from the medical community, along with a positive attitude, that helps and in some ways promote healing.

Thanks Cat for your advice. I have taken a deep breath, and not given up my support system. I am not in any harm by him. Heck, he is in harm by me possibly (kidding) because I stay so tense and angry. I just feel antsy. My doctor told me to ride it out, my labs look good and I should be over the hump soon. My doctor also prescribed a very low dosage of an anti anxiety drug. The first phases are so very hard. Thanks again for your support. My chest pains were based on anxiety and costrocondritis which I have had for years.

On the Antibodies, I also believe they have a much greater impact on the rest of the body and not just the Thyroid, there are TSH recepters scattered all through out the body tissues which are all prone to excessive stimulation from the antibodies. In addition to that you probably have other hormonal imbalances due to the Graves disease and these will contribute to moods & perceptions.
Regarding anxiety issues, these may be enhanced by the GD, and may even have been triggered by the GD, but they can often run their own course, so have a look at some tools to help you manage the anxiety. One individual I know had GD & Anxiety come on at the same time, after 18 months on meds the GD tapered away and hormones were all normal, but Anxiety was as strong as ever. Then she found some management strategies and anxiety subdued within a week, it was not hormonal in her case it was behavioural and she just needed to break that pattern. It comes in all weird shapes and sizes, one guy I read about had 6pm Sunday evening anxiety, he would be fine all week, come Sunday he would think will it happen, by mid afternoon he would be a bit apprehensive and then like clock work he would get his 6:00pm attack, something happened one day and he got stuck in that rut, plenty of others experiences out there if you just search “Anxiety Attack”, "Morning Anxiety seems to be a big one.
On the personal issue, as said don't jump at shadows, stick to the facts of what you know and don't try to join the dots and add 1+1 to = 5. Be strong in yourself, build your confidance, no matter what the future holds you will be in a better place if you are true to yourself.

Thank you all for your advice.

Harpy you were spot on as usual and gave me a lot to think about. Your breakdown of the psychological factor, without sounding supercilious, is exactly what I needed. I will get out my pschology books from school and really figure out what is truly triggering my synapses to react. I also started taking 5-HTP (just a seretonin uptake and my doc said it was ok). Besides, I cannot eat chocolate, which is natural seretonin lol.

I am feeling much better this week. Day 1…