Hi there and welcome.
I'm sorry to hear about the hard time your having and have been having, my thoughts are with you.
I had to read through your post a few times and am still a tad confused. First I think the care you have been getting isn't as good as it could have been. Second, I myself haven't had RAI, my goal is to aim for remission with medication, but from what I have been told, RAI is a long process. It can take up to six months for your thyroid to be destroyed and sometimes longer. During those months most people feel up/down/up/down etc.
So what I don't get is why they want to schedule another RAI so soon after without waiting for the first to take it's course and why the surgeon just didn't try to balance out your levels in the first place before any surgery? I mean, 5 months between RAI's is just absurd. I would honestly try to see another endo for a second opinion. And from what I remember, there's a certain time frame before one is able to have another RAI treatment. Hopefully someone else here will chime in.
Just keep in mind that what ever treatment anyone chooses, it is a balancing act, and for that you need to be an advocate for your own health as well as having a knowledgeable GP/endo.
Are you still taking Tapazole? Or Synthroid? Did you get another ultrasound? Are your dr's checking your TSH, free T4's and free T3's regularly?
Only a Graves patient, nothing more.